When writing an email, crafting a professional letter, or simply trying to sound more polished in communication, you might have wondered: Who to contact or whom to contact? If you’ve ever found yourself stumbling over this, you’re not alone.
The confusion between “who” and “whom” is one of the most common grammar issues people face. It often sparks debates, especially in professional settings where the stakes are high, and you want to convey your ideas clearly and authoritatively.
In this article, we’ll dive into the differences between “who” and “whom”, clear up the confusion, and provide you with practical guidelines to help you use these words correctly.
Whether you’re writing an email to a potential client, responding to a customer service request, or simply engaging in casual conversation, knowing when and how to use these pronouns can make your communication smoother and more professional.
Understanding the Correct Usage of “Who” vs. “Whom”
This might seem like a small detail, but the difference between “who” and “whom” is rooted in grammatical function.
The correct use of these words is important because it reflects your understanding of English grammar and your attention to detail.
Getting this right can help you sound more competent, polished, and trustworthy in both professional and personal communication.
In this guide, we’ll break down the rules clearly and provide you with actionable advice so that you never make the wrong choice again.
What’s the Difference Between “Who” and “Whom”? A Quick Overview
Before we dive into the rules, let’s first break down the basic difference between who and whom. While these words are both pronouns used to refer to people, their function in a sentence differs.
The Basics of “Who”
Who is used when referring to the subject of a sentence. The subject is the person (or thing) performing the action. It is a subject pronoun, similar to he, she, or I.
Examples:
- “Who is coming to the party?”
- “Who called me last night?”
In these examples, “who” is performing the action. In the first sentence, “who” is coming to the party. In the second, “who” is calling.
The Basics of “Whom”
Whom, on the other hand, is used when referring to the object of a sentence. The object is the person (or thing) receiving the action. It is an object pronoun, like him, her, or us.
Examples:
- “To whom should I address this letter?”
- “Whom did you meet at the conference?”
In these examples, “whom” is receiving the action. In the first sentence, the letter is being addressed to “whom.” In the second, someone is meeting “whom.”
The Simple Trick to Get It Right
Don’t worry if the explanation above still feels a bit abstract. There’s a simple trick you can use to determine whether “who” or “whom” is correct: The He/Him Test. This trick helps you figure out which pronoun fits the sentence.
The He/Him Test
You can substitute he or him for “who” or “whom” in a sentence. If you would use he in the sentence, you should use who. If you would use him, you should use whom.
Example 1:
- “Who called me last night?”
- Test: “He called me last night.”
- Since “he” fits, you would use “who.”
Example 2:
- “To whom should I send this package?”
- Test: “To him should I send this package?”
- Since “him” fits, you would use “whom.”
Common Mistakes People Make with “Who” and “Whom”
Even native speakers often make mistakes with “who” and “whom,” so you’re not alone if you’ve gotten confused. Here are a few common pitfalls and how to avoid them.
Using “Who” When “Whom” is Correct
This is one of the most frequent errors. People tend to use “who” because it’s simpler, even when “whom” would be more appropriate.
Example Mistake:
- “Who should I send this letter to?”
Incorrect: You should use “whom” instead of “who” here.
Corrected Version:
- “To whom should I send this letter?”
In this case, “whom” is the correct choice because it’s the object of the preposition “to.” This structure calls for whom.
Overusing “Whom” in Casual Settings
On the flip side, some people tend to overuse “whom” in everyday conversation or casual writing. While “whom” sounds formal and elegant, it can come off as stilted or overly stiff in relaxed communication.
Example:
- “To whom do I speak about this?”
Too Formal: In most everyday conversations, using “whom” this way may seem unnatural.
Better Version:
- “Who do I speak to about this?”
In casual settings, you’re usually better off using “who” unless you want to sound exceptionally formal. So, while “whom” can be grammatically correct, you should use it thoughtfully, especially in relaxed environments.
Real-World Examples: “Who to Contact” vs. “Whom to Contact”
Now, let’s look at real-world examples where you might have to choose between “who” and “whom.” Whether you’re sending an email, attending a meeting, or participating in a conversation, knowing when to use these words is crucial.
Professional Email Contexts
In a formal business setting, clarity is critical. Often, the correct choice between “who” and “whom” depends on the level of formality.
Correct Example:
- “To whom should I send the invoice?”
- “Who will be responsible for this project?”
In the first example, “whom” is used correctly after the preposition “to.” In the second example, “who” is the subject performing the action.
Customer Service & Support
When contacting customer service, it’s essential to sound professional but still clear. In this case, knowing whether to use “who” or “whom” can make a difference in your tone.
Formal Example:
- “To whom should I report the issue?”
In formal situations, such as sending a complaint to a company, “whom” gives the communication a more professional tone.
Informal Example:
- “Who do I talk to about the issue?”
In informal contexts, “who” is perfectly fine.
Why Is “Whom” Becoming Less Common in Everyday Use?
While understanding the rules is important, it’s also worth considering that language evolves. Over time, certain usage patterns shift as people find simpler ways to communicate.
The Decline of “Whom” in Everyday Speech
In the past, “whom” was a must-use in many contexts, especially in formal writing. However, nowadays, whom is increasingly replaced by who in both speech and writing.
This shift is primarily due to the evolving nature of language. People often prefer simplicity and efficiency in communication. As such, “who” has become more acceptable, even in places where “whom” would traditionally be used.
Example:
- “To whom are you referring?”
“Who are you referring to?”
In casual speech, the second sentence is far more common and natural.
Is It OK to Use “Who” in Place of “Whom”?
Yes, in informal writing and conversation, using “who” is perfectly acceptable. Many grammar experts now consider this shift in language use to be normal and even expected in certain situations.
However, it’s still important to use “whom” correctly when you’re writing formal documents like legal contracts, resumes, or academic papers. In professional environments, using “whom” properly can elevate your credibility.
A Practical Guide: When to Use “Who” vs. “Whom”
Let’s summarize the key points you need to remember when choosing between who and whom.
When to Use “Who”
- Informal emails: “Who” is preferred when you’re writing to a colleague or someone you have a less formal relationship with.
- Casual conversations: “Who” is used when you are speaking informally.
- Blogs or personal websites: In writing that’s conversational and approachable, “who” sounds more natural.
When to Use “Whom”
- Formal emails: Use “whom” in professional correspondence, especially if you’re writing to someone in authority, a client, or a business partner.
- Legal documents: In contracts or official papers, “whom” shows your command over language.
- Job applications or cover letters: It’s a good idea to use “whom” to show professionalism when you’re communicating in formal writing.
Key Takeaways for Using “Who” and “Whom” Correctly
To wrap it up, here are the key takeaways for making sure you use who and whom correctly:
- Who is for the subject (the one doing the action).
- Whom is for the object (the one receiving the action or following a preposition).
- When in doubt, use the he/him test.
- In casual writing or speech, who is often the better choice, while whom shines in formal communication.
- Always consider your audience: whom shows a level of professionalism, while who keeps things casual.
Conclusion
Mastering the difference between who and whom is more than just a grammar exercise. It’s about enhancing your communication skills and making sure that your words reflect your professionalism. By knowing when to use each, you can be confident in your writing and speech, whether you’re crafting an email to a colleague, replying to a client, or even chatting informally.
Now, with these tips in mind, go ahead and write your next email or message with confidence. Remember, it’s not just about following grammar rules; it’s about sounding clear, professional, and trustworthy. Keep practicing, and soon, you’ll be using “who” and “whom” like a pro!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
1. What’s the difference between “who” and “whom”?
The key difference lies in their function within a sentence:
- Who is used as the subject of a sentence, meaning the one performing the action.
- Whom is used as the object of a verb or preposition, meaning the one receiving the action.
For example:
- Who is going to the event? (subject – the one doing the action)
- To whom should I address the letter? (object – the one receiving the action)
2. When should I use “whom” instead of “who”?
You should use whom when the pronoun is the object of a verb or preposition. This includes sentences like:
- “To whom should I send this email?”
- “With whom did you meet yesterday?”
However, in most informal conversations and writing, who is often acceptable, even if whom would technically be correct.
3. Can I use “who” in place of “whom” in casual writing?
Yes, in casual writing and conversations, using who instead of whom is common and perfectly fine. While whom may sound more formal or traditional, who has become widely accepted, especially in informal settings. For example, “Who should I contact?” is common, even though “whom” would be grammatically correct in a formal sentence.
4. Why do people find “whom” so difficult to use?
The difficulty with whom arises because it is rarely used in everyday speech. The modern tendency is to simplify language, and as a result, who has largely replaced whom in most contexts. Many people simply aren’t used to hearing or seeing whom, making it seem outdated or overly formal.
5. Can I use “whom” in an email to a friend?
In casual emails to friends or family, it’s perfectly fine to use who instead of whom. The primary concern is clarity and the tone of your message. Unless you are aiming for a very formal tone, who is typically the better choice.
For example:
- “Who is coming to the party?” (More casual)
- “To whom should I address the invitation?” (More formal)
Mia Rose are the minds behind Globals English, a platform dedicated to making English learning simple, engaging, and effective. With a shared passion for education and communication, they bring years of experience in language teaching and curriculum development.